Jesus returns May 21,2011. No word on Mohammed.

Posted by admin on December 5, 2010

I remember my first apocalypse. It was way back in 1975, when the Jehovah’s Witnesses said it was all going to end. Then there was the Harmonic Convergence of 1987, the Ussher prophesy of ’97, and who could forget Y2K? Good times.

Of course, most people are now looking forward to 2012 when the whole world will go to Hell in a blaze of earthquakes, solar flares, and aliens. Not to be outdone, though, a Christian group called We Can Know are saying that The Late-Great JC will be coming back on May 21, 2011. And they’ve got billboards, bumper stickers, a radio show, and a website to prove it.

I gotta admit, it’s nice to have something to look forward to between now and 2012. It was getting to be a long drag there, and an apocalypse-before-the apocalypse is just what we needed to break up the long wait.

Still, it’s a few months away. While this gives me plenty of time to have my Beer-and-Holy Water franchise up and running before the Hell fires get going, the wait is likely a long one for the We Can Know folks. To kill time, I suggest they spend their last months on Earth becoming more familiar with their bible, and what it has to say about the exact date of Jesus’ return. I suggest they start with the following passage, from the Gospel of Mark:

“No man knows the day and the hour, no, not the angels which are in Heaven, nor the Son, but the Father.” ~Mark 13:32

From: http://heathensguide.com/12/05/jesus-returns-may-212011-no-word-on-mohammed/